


We Take Our Places in the Dark

by RosebudRegiment



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Angst, Comfort, F/M, Fear, Fluff, Horror, Hurt, Pining, Romance, canonverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:56:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28843473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosebudRegiment/pseuds/RosebudRegiment
Summary: A series of oneshots based on different chapters in the canonverse.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Levi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 105





	1. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pseudo-poetical little nothing I wrote about Levi's anxieties regarding Mikasa's attachment to Eren. Set when the Survey Corps heads to Libero in response to Eren's message.

Since his youth, death has been all he’s ever known, and so, too, is it all he’s known to welcome. From the first time he beheld his mother’s drifting eyes, to the first time he’d caused a grown man to writher and die. 

So constant was death, in fact, that he didn’t notice at first the life that had been brought to him in its wake. On that fateful day in Trost, when his walls, of their own accord, started to break. 

He doesn’t understand it; how someone as beaten and embittered by the world as he has possibly managed to love again. He’d done nothing to cause it, and neither could he have done anything to stop it. It’s everything he knows not to want, and yet, somehow, he doesn’t want it to end. 

For, this love, it seems, was the first to ever elude him. There was no seeking or chasing it anymore than there was catching it. It simply existed. Ever-present; as ominous as the darkening sky of grey. A witness: his only part to play. 

And, no matter how hard he tries to keep such truths at bay, he surrenders to this certainty, every single time he looks at her. 

But, in all his dreams as of late, she’s chasing Eren, though he’s begging her not to follow; her defiant gaze a reflection of a buried past filled with mistakes for which he can never atone, and chances he can no longer take.

She’s gone before he can stop her, and when he reaches her, it’s always too late. 

Eren’s maw is streaked with the vermillion of what she used to be; her body a headless, discarded mass beneath demonic, muscled feet. 

Levi looks down at his own to find her severed head, eyes dimming, vacuous pools as she is dragged away by the ravenous abyss from which she’d been running all her life. 

He jolts awake, rising from his mat with a muffled scream, the lonely darkness of the night surging up to meet him as the vestiges of the dream sneak away. 

His eyes strain to focus as he turns this way and that, searching for any trace of it in his reality as a cold sweat caresses his neck. 

He stills when he finds her, a sleeping outline amongst the other members of the Survey Corps sprawled across the floor of their train headed for Liberio, and swallows as the tremors then subside. 

“Eren Jaeger, make no mistake,” whispers Levi to no one, eyes aflame. “I’ll kill you, should the need arise.”


	2. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Mikasa-centric oneshot about Sasha's death.

If there is one guarantee in this life, it is that death is inevitable. It doesn’t discriminate between the good and the bad, nor the young and the old. It may be delayed, but in the end, there is no escaping it.  
  
Knowing this since she was a child, Mikasa should not be surprised, then, that another death has befallen them. After all, theirs is a path that has only ever promised such a fate.  
  
But Sasha’s was different.  
  
In all their time together, Sasha never tried to put on a braver face than the rest; never tried to hide just how terrified she was; never ceased to find a reason to laugh, even with the death constantly knocking at her door. From her emotions to her appetite, she had always been unapologetically human in a world that saw them as anything but.  
  
And so, as her fingers curl over the ground of her freshly covered grave, Mikasa can’t help but think about how abhorrent it is that she never once told Sasha just how much she meant to her.  
  
All this time, she’s been so preoccupied with protecting Eren, that she never once considered the possibility that they might lose anyone else, least of all, Sasha, and to a _child_ , no less.  
  
The anger that burns in her chest as the girl's face flashes through her mind is enough for her to entertain even the most heinous of thoughts, but Mikasa knows that vengeance can never be satisfied with more death, just as it hadn’t been with Sasha’s. Such actions would only fuel the flames of this war that has since proven to be cruel to both sides.  
  
If only she hadn't been so single-minded. Whether to death or to madness, losing Eren has _always_ been inevitable, no matter how much she tries to deny it. That was decided the day he lost his mother. But maybe, if she had been more observant, she might have prevented _this_. Maybe, just maybe, if she had noticed sooner, Sasha might still be alive.

Mikasa can only wonder how many more of their comrades will die before this cycle is put to an end, if they still have a chance at all.

“Hey, Sasha…,” she whispers, her teeth gritting against the sob that threatens to overtake her body. “How did you do it?” She asks, the salt of her tears flavouring her tongue. “How did you keep going?”  
  
“You _had_ to have known that the Survey Corps was doomed from the start,” she grimaces, shaking her head. “You could have stayed on Paradis…”  
  
“So, _why_ , Sasha?” her voice cracks, the sorrow like acid on the back of her throat. “Why didn’t you stay…? Why did you keep _fighting?!_ ” She demands, slamming her fist against the granite, the unbridled force of it creating a small fissure in the plaque.  
  
She gasps when she realises what she’s just done, and incredulously traces the damage with quivering fingertips before clamping that same hand over her mouth in shame.  
  
A muffled cry tears itself from her throat then, stretching further an already gaping hollow until tremor after tremor folds her against the only thing she has left of her friend, with no other wish than that the grief alone will be enough to make her disappear, just as the world has always wanted.  
  
What she doesn’t expect, however, is the warmth that envelops her soon after, strong and unrelenting as it pulls her closer still, nor the faint scent of aftershave and military soap that fills her lungs as she sucks in another ragged breath.  
  
Arms slackening at her sides, she can’t understand why _he_ would deign to let her break against him like this; why _he_ should allow her to indulge this weakness. She is supposed to be _strong_ ; to carry on in the way that Sasha longer could; _to do what needs to be done_. She shouldn’t _need_ to be comforted like this.  
  
And yet… she can’t bring herself to push him away.  
  
“C-captain,” she chokes into the crook of his neck that is now damp with her tears, “I’m s-sorr-“ she tries to say, but is silenced by the careful fingers that then weave through her hair.  
  
“Don’t fight it,” Levi whispers next to her ear, his voice heavy with restrained emotion. “If grief is all you have left to feel, then _feel_ it. Let it _drive_ you.”

Mikasa's hands grip the fabric at his chest as the words wrestle with her, a resistant whimper escaping her.   
  
“We may not have hope,” he continues softly, “but this grief…,” she hears him swallow, the hand in her hair now coming between them to rest over hers, pressing them flush against his heart, “…is _ours_ to claim."  
  
Her eyes widen at that, and, slowly, she lifts her head to meet his tired eyes, a new flood of emotion rushing through her when she finds that they are red and glossy with unshed tears of his own; something that feels like newfound resolve.   
  
She buries her face into his shoulder then, allowing herself this one small, fleeting moment of refuge in her captain’s arms before they are forced to brave the day that awaits them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's a little messy. This was my way of venting after the recent episode. I'll probably come back to it later and edit it properly. Thanks for reading, if you made it to the end.


	3. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set when Mikasa learns of Levi's apparent demise.

In war, a single missive can change everything. 

For some, they can bring hope, and others, despair.

But Mikasa’s time as a soldier has taught her that, in this cruel and beautiful world, one cannot exist without the other.   
  
Even the miracle of Eren’s survival in Trost was quickly overshadowed by the knowledge of its fatal cost, just as every advancement they've made in this war has only ever come from such sacrifice.

Indeed, life could only beget death, just as hope is tied in an endless cycle to despair.  
  
And so, as the days grow ever darker and the graves of her comrades collect like the scars on her hands, Mikasa decides that she no longer _wants_ to feel, though hers is an heart that has only ever known to do so.  
  
Which is why, when Floch first told Mikasa that her captain had been killed, she didn’t react, even if she somehow knew, in her heart of hearts, that it wasn’t true.  
  
And it’s _also_ why, when she learns after finally making contact with Hange again that _Captain Levi is still alive_ , she doesn't let herself believe it, refusing to give fate the satisfaction of playing the same cruel trick on her heart until she can see it for herself.   
  
The ride to the campgrounds passes like a hazy dream. The alacrity of Hange's chatter, the reigns in her hands, and the flames of the pyre that glow all the brighter with their fast approach are only distant registrations in her mind amidst the rebellious thoughts that, in spite of her best efforts to shirk them, seem to find ways to repeat of their own volition:  
  
 _ **Please.**_ _Let me be wrong, just this once.  
  
_ When they dismount their horses just short of where the remnants of the Survey Corps are ringed around the blaze, Mikasa’s heart is a wild entity as her eyes search frantically for the evidence with which to douse this treacherous thing called hope, until her eyes at last land on a human-sized bundle settled next to the Cart Titan and she forgets how to breathe. 

One glance at those dark tufts at its top end is enough to rid Mikasa of all decorum and carry her legs forward, heedless of the hushed scrutiny of her comrades. Her knees slam against the damp ground beside it, but her shaking hands only hover above the carefully-tucked burlap before retracting just before her lips, for fear of shattering the inconceivable horror and wonder that is the unconscious visage before her. 

Her eyes screw shut to stop her tears as every emotion seems to hit her all at once and she breathes the name she thought she’d never get to say again into the space between them.  
  
“Levi… _”  
  
_

* * *

_  
There it is again._ _  
_  
_That voice._  
  
It’s warm and so very _familiar_ as it echoes into the darkness once more, piercing it like a sliver of moonlight.  
  
The starkness of it is assaulting at first, but he steps towards it without hesitation; he’s always known he would follow that voice _anywhere_ , even if it means abandoning his own peace.  
  
He knows he could never _truly_ find any without her, after all.  
  
And so, even though the pain returns as soon as his lids drift open, he finds he’s never been more thankful for it than when the swirl of colours and shadows at last weave to form the face he thought he’d been consigned to never see again, albeit slightly frustrated to find the charcoal-blues he’s so missed obscured by those lovely ebony strands.  
  
 _Silly girl… just what is she doing?  
  
_ “Mika… sa...”  
  
And, at once, a gaze that is somehow both tearful and stern locks onto his, its energy filling him with life anew as he draws in perhaps the first real breath he’s ever taken, leaving him but to wonder, in the midst of it all, how it’s possible for anyone to be so beautiful.  
  
There are a million words forming on Mikasa’s tongue as he watches her, but in the end, all she can do is shake her head as she holds those insufferably tenacious steel-blues.   
  
_Just how..._  
  
A semi-bandaged hand, stained with dried blood, emerges from his coverings then to traverse the distance to her face, the pad of his thumb taking rest in the silken nook of her jaw that, to Levi's strange mixture of satisfaction and disappointment, is now completely bare.

Mikasa gasps as the last pane of doubt is shattered, the contact transfixing her on his every detail, from the way the corners of his eyes crease in mirth, to the way those chapped lips barely move as he asks: “The hell… is your scarf?”  
  
Relief bleeds out of her with a small whimper. “Since when did you start caring about such stupid things?” She almost laughs in answer after a moment, pressing a hand to where his own still tends.  
  
“I don’t know…,” he says, not at all minding the ache of the smirk that pushes against his cheek. “Guess it’s started… to grow on me.”  
  
“You’re an idiot…,” Mikasa scoffs, turning a smile that not even _she_ is strong enough to fight into his palm then; to soak in the warmth that is, against all odds, so very _alive_ and _here_ with her.  
  
Perhaps it _is_ foolish, to think that people such as _they_ have any right to hope in this life.  
  
But, if it means more moments like these, then Levi will pull through as many times as he’s allowed, and Mikasa will hope for as long as she can breathe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, okay? I just see RivaMika and feel things, and that's what this is. As always, I'll edit like a banshee once I get a good night's rest, but hopefully it's decent enough 'til then. *crazed laughter* 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, if you survived!
> 
> Okay, now, to finish updating To Build a Home. >_>


End file.
